EMHTC -Chapter 143 No Need to Make History in Such a Way

Finally, who could have imagined this? My minister returned from overseas and even brought back some native people!

— This was probably what the old emperor was thinking at the moment.

But since they had traveled such a long way, Da Xia, as the host, naturally had to receive them properly.

“They eat stewed food, brew fruit wine, and have a preference for spicy flavors. Their common food includes wild animals, cassava, and fish.”

The name “cassava” was given by Xie Luoshui. It resembled a sweet potato, but its color was like wood, so she named it “cassava.”

The ship also brought back quite a lot of cassava.

The old emperor nodded. So, when the banquet began, most of the dishes on the table were stews, along with other cooking styles, but only in small portions to prevent the Paraguayans from experiencing discomfort due to unfamiliar food.

Upon learning that Paraguayans ate their meals while sitting on the ground, the emperor waved his hand and decided to host the banquet outdoors in the wilderness. Both the emperor and his officials dressed in casual attire, either sitting on mats or directly on the ground.

Throughout the banquet, the Paraguayans kept talking to Xie Luoshui, mixing their native language with Daxia’s official language, accompanied by hand gestures. Occasionally, they would point at the old emperor. The emperor, however, simply smiled and let it pass.

After a while, Xie Luoshui stood up and performed the proper court etiquette she had learned from the general on the ship, addressing the emperor, “Your Majesty, Ilala says that Your Majesty is tall and strong, even stronger than his tribal chief, Paraguay. He regrets not being in his tribe, or else he would have hunted a fierce wild boar to offer to Your Majesty.”

The old emperor laughed heartily. “As it happens, there is wild boar at the banquet! This warrior has traveled thousands of miles across the ocean to our Da Xia—truly courageous. Xie Qing, tell him that we also have a tradition in Da Xia: we grant warriors a jar of wine and a boar leg to accompany it. Ask him if he can eat it!”

Xie Luoshui conveyed the message to Ilala through a mix of gestures and broken native speech.

These words greatly pleased Ilala.

He wanted to eat as he would in his tribe—raw. He wanted to reach for the warm gallbladder, the bloody liver, and mix the mother beast’s milk with its blood before drinking it. That was what a true warrior should do!

However, what Da Xia presented to him was not a whole wild boar but a single boar leg.

— At first, he thought that even though they had given him a boar leg, they would allow him to tear it from the carcass himself, showcasing his strength in the blood.

Ilala felt a little disappointed, but then he remembered that neither “Xie,” nor “Qin,” nor any of the other Da Xia people liked eating raw meat after hunting. They always took their prey back to the tribe to stew it.

Perhaps this was what “Xie” had explained as “seeking common ground while respecting differences.”

“Xie” had said that “seeking common ground while respecting differences” meant that near the Paraguayan tribe, there was another tribe. The people there also had yellow skin and used horses to measure wealth, just like his people. However, those people would drink the contents of a dead horse’s stomach when they were thirsty, whereas the Paraguayans would not.

— A long time ago, perhaps as far back as his mama’s mama’s time, it was said that the Quajadi tribe had once discovered a ship of foreigners. They traded five or six turkeys for an item called a “fishhook” from the ship, and a pair of wild geese for something called a “comb.”

Later, however, the Quajadi tribe became enemies with that ship’s crew. The way that tribe dealt with enemies was to capture them and eat them entirely. That ship’s people were never seen again.

However, something called a “horse” that they had brought with them became a war prize. Horses spread from the Quajadi tribe to other tribes and even became wild horses surviving on the continent.

Ilala liked “Xie,” liked “Qin,” and liked these “Da Xia people,” so he was also willing to prove himself as a warrior in the Da Xia way—by eating the wild boar leg!

Ilala made a playful face at the boar leg, then plopped down on the ground and tore into the meat with big bites.

He heard the Da Xia people cheering, calling out “hao!”

“Xie” had told him that Da Xia’s word “hao” was like the Paraguayan word skookum—meaning “great” or “awesome.”

Encouraged, Ilala ate even more enthusiastically!

He even felt a little touched and awed.

This leg was obviously fresh!

They must have slaughtered a pig just to give him this leg!

—The power of Da Xia was truly terrifying!!!

Xu Yanmiao found this whole situation fascinating.

【I never expected to meet such warm and hospitable South American natives after Thanksgiving.】

【Ah, sorry, that was probably a hell joke. May the Lord forgive me.】

The ministers kept glancing back at Xu Lang.

Strange? Why did Xu Lang’s words just now sound so sarcastic? Did he not like these natives?

If that was the case…

Qin Guan frowned and clicked his tongue in frustration. He regretted that he might have made a miscalculation.

The Vice Minister of Rites, He Bikan, glanced at him and chuckled, “Why overthink it? At worst, we can just send them back.”

Qin Guan realized he had a point and immediately relaxed. He then grabbed an orange from the fruit basket in front of him, quickly peeled it, and held it up to the Vice Minister’s mouth. “Here! Have a Huangqi orange! You often get dizzy and weak—eating more oranges is good for you.”

Then, with a playful grin, he added, “Can I stay over at your place tonight?”

The Vice Minister of Rites: “……”

He immediately gave Qin Guan a suspicious look.

Did something just run over his face just now?

Before he could say anything, another voice suddenly cut in:

“Year after year, longing fills my heart, year after year, the willow leaves dance upon the eaves…”

Many people turned to look. The Vice Minister also instinctively turned his head—

It was the Marquis of Yongchang!

The Marquis continued slowly,

“In the countryside, feelings go unspoken, longing for that jade-like face. Thinking of that jade-like face, reminiscing about the day we met, the moment lingering. Like Chang’e before my eyes…”

【WOW!!!】 Xu Yanmiao’s attention was immediately captured.

【The Marquis and Xiao Chanu!!!】

【Can the Great General tolerate this?!】

Of course, Qin Guan couldn’t!

Who are you calling Chang’e?! Who is right in front of your eyes?!

With his naturally hot temper, he immediately shot up, ready to throw a punch.

【Fight! Fight! Slap him right in the face! How dare he recite poetry to a married man?!】

Qin Guan: That’s right!!!

His fist was itching to swing—

But before he could, the Vice Minister of Rites gave him a sharp pinch.

Qin Guan: “……”

He immediately deflated and lowered his head.

【Eh? Why didn’t you hit him? Qin Guan! Are you still a man?!】

The Vice Minister of Rites: “……”

Can you shut up for a moment?! I can barely hold him back!

The Marquis of Yongchang, adding fuel to the fire, flashed Qin Guan a provocative smile.

Qin Guan: “!!!”

【!!!】

【Whoa!】

Princess Xiangyang watched with great interest. “Antagonize him more!”

The old emperor, who had been enjoying the spectacle: “……”

Gao Shengxian! What does this have to do with you?!

The crown prince, slightly relieved, muttered, “I am not alone in my ways.” Then his father shot him a glare, and he immediately shut up.

However, General Qin had already learned his lesson.

He calmly extended the peeled Huangqi orange toward the Vice Minister of Rites. The Vice Minister hesitated for a moment but then opened his mouth and ate it. The general immediately shot a triumphant look at the Marquis of Yongchang.

Just as he was about to bask in his victory—

He suddenly heard a sharp inhale from behind him.

Turning around, he saw the Vice Minister’s face scrunched up in discomfort.

Qin Guan: “What’s wrong?!”

“It’s sour.”

Qin Guan looked down at the orange, then stuffed the rest of it into his mouth and chewed.

“It is a bit sour, but I ate the whole thing—didn’t waste it.” He spoke while pouring honey water for the Vice Minister.

The Vice Minister nodded slightly, looking pleased. “That’s good.”

【Tsk, tsk.】

Princess Xiangyang: “Tsk, tsk.”

【Huh? Why is Gao Xiang tsking? Wait… does she not know that the poem that’s been circulating around the capital lately—the one Lin Zhi wrote—is actually meant for her? Guess not. I thought even though Lin Zhi didn’t sign a name on it, the Jinyiwei would’ve traced it to the emperor, and the emperor would’ve told his daughter.】

Princess Xiangyang: “?!”

What did you just say?!

The Marquis of Yongchang was also stunned.

He felt the weight of countless gazes bearing down on him—especially the scorching stares of the princess’s father and brothers, hot enough to roast meat.

His tiger-like eyes immediately welled up with tears—

He had no idea the poem had such an underlying story!

He had just wanted to mess with Qin Guan!

He never meant to ruin the princess’s reputation!

The old emperor turned to Princess Xiangyang. “Xiangyang, you—”

Princess Xiangyang’s body trembled. On reflex, she opened her mouth, ready to belt out a dramatic, three-tone “Ah~~~”—

The emperor’s scalp went numb, and he quickly waved his hand with a smile. “Go away.”

“Okay! Thank You, Father!”

Sure enough, Xu Yanmiao’s trick worked every time!

Princess Xiangyang was about to head over to Xu Yanmiao to discuss the matter of the confession poem when she suddenly heard his inner thoughts:

【Hmmm, I still don’t know how Xie Luoshui and the others managed to bring those native people back…】

—That familiar flavor of sudden, random distraction.

Princess Xiangyang plopped back down into her seat, waiting for more.

【Oh!】

【No wonder! That explains everything!】

Xu Yanmiao was engrossed in the system’s information. 【The natives of that continent worship the Feathered Serpent God, which closely resembles the totem of the Teng Snake revered in Da Xia.】

【So, when the locals saw the Teng Snake symbols on the bottles and jars carried by Xie Luoshui and the others, they mistakenly believed they shared the same faith, leading to their enthusiasm and friendliness!】

Qin Guan suddenly understood.

So that was the reason!

He had thought that the natives of this continent were simply naturally hospitable.

【Wait a minute—】

【Hahahahahaha—】

【Besides the similar totems, General Qin, you also contributed a lot!】

That statement startled Qin Guan.

He had been at sea for two years now, but he hadn’t forgotten just how much Little Baize enjoyed schadenfreude. Most of the time, Xu Yanmiao’s thoughts might be unpredictable—but whenever he burst into laughter in his mind, it was never good news!

But… what had he done?

Qin Guan frantically searched his memory, too preoccupied to notice the Minister of Rites subtly scooting away from him.

【This is hilarious. Some of the natives, upon seeing you, immediately said… uh, I can’t read this word. Never mind! Anyway, you thickheaded fool, you didn’t even take a closer look before assuming it meant “hello” and confidently taught it to everyone else.】

【Aren’t you even a little afraid it was an insult?】

Qin Guan shot Xu Yanmiao a glance and proudly puffed out his broad chest.

Of course, it wasn’t an insult! Did Xu Yanmiao think he hadn’t observed carefully?

Even though he wasn’t sure which phrase Xu Yanmiao was referring to, he had scrutinized every single one. If there was a word whose meaning he wasn’t sure of, he would watch how people used it when speaking to him.

If the word was spoken to him multiple times while he was doing completely different things—or even doing nothing at all—and the locals were smiling when they said it, then it had to be either a compliment or a greeting!

【Well, to be fair, it wasn’t an insult.】

Qin Guan continued peeling an orange, his movements smooth and steady as he listened to Xu Yanmiao’s thoughts. His expression remained composed, a true display of mastery.

Hmph! He would peel a perfectly continuous orange peel for Xing Cong (the Minister of Rites’ courtesy name), then taste the orange himself. If it was sweet, he would give it to Xing Cong.

【But that phrase actually means “You have big pectoral muscles,” hahahahahaha!】

“Pa—”

Qin Guan froze as his hand slipped, and the orange peel broke, falling to the ground.

【HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!】

【So every time he saw a native in the tribe, he said, “You have big pectoral muscles,” and now the entire tribe has heard him say it at least once.】

【Sorry, no offense, but… this is male-on-male harassment! HAHAHAHAHA!】

【Luckily, Qin Guan doesn’t know about this. Otherwise, he’d be curling his toes into the ground in embarrassment! HAHAHAHAHA!】

Too late.

Qin Guan silently peeled the rest of the orange, turned his head, and muttered, “…Xing Cong?”

The general looked deeply wounded as he gazed at his beloved.

The Minister of Rites was genuinely surprised. “Oh dear! How did you end up sitting over there?”

Qin Guan: “…”

What else could he do? He could only eat the entire orange by himself.

—And this time, the orange was perfectly sweet! He would not share! Hah!

Meanwhile, Xu Yanmiao’s thoughts continued.

【On the bright side, the natives didn’t consider it harassment.】

【Hahaha, they were actually thrilled to be complimented on their chest muscles! They thought the Daxia people were so friendly and direct with their praise—they loved it!】

The Daxia officials: No, no, no! We Da Xia people value subtlety! We don’t just go around praising people’s chest muscles!

That was purely Qin Guan’s personal behavior!

General Qin: “…”

I wouldn’t do that either…

He turned his head and saw Ilara, still comfortably munching on his pork leg, completely at ease and full of trust.

“…”

Oh well! Qin Guan clenched his teeth. If it was about complimenting chest muscles, then so be it! At least it worked!

Ilara turned to him. “Qin?”

Qin Guan sighed. “It’s nothing…”

The Minister of Rites smiled and said, “The General wants to say—your pectoral muscles are magnificent.”

Upon hearing Xie Luoshui’s translation, Ilara beamed with joy.

Meanwhile, Qin Guan caught sight of the court historian furiously writing and immediately covered his face.

—He did want his name to go down in history, but not like this!

Xu Yanmiao didn’t notice any of this. After laughing his fill, he refocused on the system.

【Speaking of which, Paraguayans also have a jade-worship tradition, just like Da Xia!】

【It’s fascinating how people from two different continents can have so many similarities.】

The Emperor nodded in agreement and called out, “Qin Qing!”

Qin Guan glanced out of the corner of his eye, confirming that the Emperor was addressing him. He immediately stepped forward and cupped his hands. “Your Majesty.”

The Emperor said, “Da Xia has always valued reciprocity. Since the Paraguayan tribes have treated you all with courtesy, and we will continue interacting with them in the future, we must also show proper etiquette. Do you remember what this tribe lacks? We should send some gifts.”

Qin Guan began to recall. “I…”

【Anything would be fine—at least it’s better than gifting them pillows and blankets used by smallpox patients, like some people did to their native populations.】

Qin Guan: “???”

The Emperor: “???”

The entire court: “???”

Who would give such a thing as a gift?!!!

From Xu Yanmiao’s tone, it seemed like… someone had actually done that before?!

The people of Da Xia, known for their deep-rooted traditions of etiquette, were utterly shaken.

In Da Xia, even in times of war, when envoys from two nations brought gifts to each other, they would never deliberately bring objects contaminated with smallpox!

That was smallpox!!!

Even now, smallpox was something people feared immensely. Not even the most skilled physicians could cure it! If smallpox broke out in a region, the only option was to seal off the city and let the infected perish!

【Ah, right! Damn it! How did I forget to mention the method for preventing smallpox?!】

The ministers of Da Xia: “?!”

What did you just say?

What did you just say!!!!

A jolt of electricity seemed to run through their minds. The old emperor abruptly stood up, his breathing rapid. He nearly blacked out from standing too quickly.

Prime Minister Dou clutched his chest, gasping several times. With trembling hands, he pulled a small bottle of pills from his sleeve, quickly poured one out, and swallowed it.

As for the other officials, they were already feeling lightheaded, their minds filled with four enormous words: “Immortalized in history.”

This was the prevention of smallpox they were talking about!

Even if they weren’t the leading officials on this matter, just being an assistant would be enough to secure a place in the history books!

The Crown Prince took a deep breath as he gazed at Xu Yanmiao.

Just how many more astonishing secrets was this man hiding?!