EMHTC -Chapter 137 I Only Want You to Treat Me Well for a Lifetime—I Don’t Care If You Have Money or a Betrothal Gift

The emperor was getting increasingly fed up with the family of the second-place scholar.

Three able-bodied men in their prime, yet they still managed to be bullied by others? Back in his day, when his family had three strong men, they practically dominated their entire village!

A family like this—one that willingly allowed themselves to fall into such a state, combined with an oblivious mother—was absolutely out of the question!

—Though, in the eyes of many, this wasn’t seen as self-inflicted failure but rather a testament to the idea that “All pursuits are inferior to scholarly success.”

But for a man like Gao Tie Zhu, who had survived by tilling the land, if his own son ever behaved this way, he’d make sure to discipline him thoroughly—nine beatings every three days!

The old emperor discreetly glanced at the list in Xu Yan Miao’s hands.

Well, there were still plenty of candidates left… Surely one of them would be suitable… right?

【Hmm, so the second-place scholar is a mama’s boy. His two brothers are probably the same. The old emperor definitely won’t pick any of them as Princess Gao Xiang’s consort, right?】

As soon as Xu Yan Miao’s inner thoughts surfaced, many officials were utterly stunned.

Was Xiao Baize… jealous?!

Could it be that he had actually developed feelings for Princess Xiangyang? Otherwise, why would he go out of his way to sabotage her marriage prospects?

【Hmm, let’s check the next candidate.】

【Damn it, this is such a hassle! I should have charged Gao Xiang two months’ worth of cleaning fees for this! What a miscalculation!】

The court officials collectively breathed a sigh of relief.

—So the princess had asked Baize for help first? In that case, there was no issue.

【The second candidate is… the 13th ranking scholar of the second tier.】

Xu Yan Miao looked over, and several others followed his gaze.

What they saw was a middle-aged man in his thirties—overweight, with a particularly large belly.

But he was fat from overeating, unlike the second-place scholar, who was naturally chubby due to his body type.

The officials, who were scouting for suitable sons-in-law, hesitated momentarily before deciding to give him some attention.

Of course, not because they wanted him as a son-in-law, but rather to check if he had any promising young men in his family.

【Let’s see… Oh~ He’s actually a descendant of a renowned general! Though the general was from Eastern Chu, that still makes him part of a prestigious family. No wonder his food supply was so good.】

The old emperor’s fake smile faded into a more genuine and pleased expression.

Of course! He wasn’t at odds with his own daughter—he was going to choose carefully.

【And his family situation seems simple. A quick look shows no history of mother-in-law tormenting her daughters-in-law.】

【Much better than the second-place scholar’s family. That one… Did the old emperor really just glance at the fact that the three brothers supported each other and were filial to their mother, then assume that because one of them passed the imperial exam, they were worth considering?】

The old emperor shot Xu Yan Miao a glare.

Why must you always point out the most inconvenient details?!

And besides, just because a name made it onto the shortlist didn’t mean his daughter would be married off immediately! He was obviously going to send the Jinyiwei to conduct a thorough investigation first! Once they confirmed those three men were lazy bums, there was no way he’d marry Sheng Xian to one of them!

Moreover… Ha! As if those officials had scrutinized things any better than he did! At the very least, he planned to wait until after the Qionglin Banquet to investigate properly. Those officials—especially that Cui Yi fellow—were practically ready to finalize the marriage on the spot!

The other officials quietly lowered their heads.

And in their minds, they muttered: But weren’t we just trusting your wisdom, Your Majesty? If it were an ordinary day, of course, we’d investigate too!

Xu Yan Miao was different—he didn’t trust the emperor’s judgment.

He trusted the system.

【Ah, wait a minute…】

Xu Yan Miao’s eyes widened in surprise.

A nearby official, who had been relaxing on a bamboo lounge chair, noticed this reaction and immediately sat up halfway, his curiosity piqued.

Could there be something even more ridiculous than “a mother-in-law sneaking into her son and daughter-in-law’s bedroom at night to tuck him in”?

“Xu Yan Miao!” Quan Yizhang called out in a loud and hearty voice, “Come over here! There’s meat and fruit on this side!”

The surrounding officials: “!!!”

Well done, Lord Quan!!!

Xu Yan Miao didn’t think much of it. The moment he heard there was fruit and meat, he happily made his way over. A skilled palace attendant immediately prepared a small bowl of seasoned lamb tripe for him, and he dug in so eagerly that he didn’t even bother speaking.

However, his inner thoughts were as lively as ever.

【Mmm mmm mmm! So good! It’s not tough at all, and it’s easy to chew!】

【Old Master Quan really knows how to eat—he sat himself right where all the good food is.】

Old Master Quan scoffed.

Knowing how to eat just because of a bowl of lamb tripe? The group by the stream was just messing around.

Fish in March weren’t even fat. Now, when September came around, and the fish were plump and the crabs were fresh—that was true gourmet.

Of course…

Quan Yizhang tapped his cane on the ground, getting impatient.

I called you over here—not just to eat!

But Xu Yan Miao paid him no mind. He happily ate for nearly half a stick of incense’s time, then wiped his mouth and reclined on the bamboo lounge chair, feeling even more content…

Or perhaps… not quite.

【…Does the old emperor know that this so-called noble family descendant is actually a Wuhu Yi tribesman?】

“And here I thought it was something serious!”

The old emperor scoffed.

So what if he was a tribesman? If he learned Han etiquette and lived in a Han county, then he was Han.

The Gao family wasn’t that exclusionary.

But Quan Yizhang’s expression shifted slightly.

Xu Yan Miao didn’t seem like the type to care about someone’s ethnicity.

Wuhu people… Was there something different about them?

Not far away, Liang Rui suddenly recalled something, and his pupils trembled slightly.

Meanwhile, a nearby official muttered, “That’s not really a big deal.”

Forget about marrying a tribesman—there were already non-Han officials serving in the imperial court!

Liang Rui: “…”

Sometimes, it was best not to speak too soon.

The March spring scenery was perfect. There was the sound of wind, water, and insects, along with the pleasant melody of an official who had picked up a flute and begun playing leisurely.

He played beautifully, and soon, a group of scholars and refined gentlemen gathered around him, enjoying the music.

But just then, Xu Yan Miao’s inner voice rang out—

【I’m not prejudiced against other ethnic groups. We are all one big family of 56 ethnic groups… BUT! The Wuhu people have a custom where, after the birth of the first son, they kill him and divide his body among the tribe to eat!】

“Woooo—”

A sharp, ear-piercing note screeched from the flute.

The newly appointed scholars, who couldn’t hear Xu Yan Miao’s thoughts, all exchanged bewildered glances.

One of them instinctively gasped, “This…” before quickly covering his mouth.

The officials who could hear Xu Yan Miao’s inner thoughts looked at their colleague with sympathy.

Silence fell over the entire area.

Until the official who had been playing the flute put it away at his side and gave up in frustration. “I was wrong. The moment I sensed something was about to start, I should have stopped playing! This is all my fault for not believing in this nonsense—I’m done playing, I’m going to lie down on a bamboo chair!”

“Start what?”

The newly appointed scholars were completely confused.

But no one answered them. When they asked the officials, all they got in return were mysterious smiles. The most anyone said was: “If you’re fortunate enough to stay in the capital, you’ll find out soon enough.”

—Some troublemakers even secretly placed bets on how many of them would be too weak in the knees when the time came.

However, the one feeling the most confused before securing an official position was undoubtedly “Second Rank, Thirteenth Place.”

Just moments ago, he had been chatting normally with the high-ranking officials, but suddenly, one of them kindly asked, “Young man, you don’t look like someone from the Central Plains, do you?”

“Second Rank, Thirteenth Place” didn’t see any reason to hide the truth and simply nodded. “That’s right. I’m a Wuhu tribesman from Yangshuo County.”

The official seemed to ask the question casually, and once he got his answer, he smoothly moved on to another topic.

At first, “Second Rank, Thirteenth Place” didn’t think much of it. But as he continued interacting with various officials, they all eventually asked him the same question—whether he was from the Central Plains or not. Meanwhile, his fellow scholars rarely asked him this. That was when he started to feel… that something was off.

“Oh, by the way, Brother Hai.”

“Second Rank, Thirteenth Place” turned to his cousin, a mid-level official from the Ministry of Personnel, feeling both embarrassed and hopeful. “You mentioned before that your younger sister was looking for a husband who could write poetry. You weren’t very satisfied with my younger cousin, were you…?”

His cousin immediately took three steps back and waved his hands frantically. “Don’t talk nonsense! I was never satisfied!”

Although he didn’t know why his cousin had told him earlier that if he dared to suggest a Wuhu man for his sister, he would have to step over his dead body on the day the matchmaker arrived, he figured that for the sake of his own life, it was best to distance himself from the matter entirely.

“Second Rank, Thirteenth Place” silently sat in a corner and began reflecting on what was happening.

Hanlin Academy Scholar Liu Bingwen was a little drunk. As he listened to Xu Yan Miao’s inner thoughts, he couldn’t hold back a chuckle.

His son-in-law, the one who placed seventh in this year’s imperial exam, was curious. “Father-in-law, what are you laughing at?”

Liu Bingwen proudly replied, “I’m just happy. I truly have an eye for talent. Other people’s sons-in-law all have their own flaws, but mine….”

Just then, Xu Yan Miao got up, intending to go to the restroom. As he passed by, he heard this statement and looked over with admiration.

【He deliberately let his lazy younger brother get close to your youngest daughter, sweet-talking her into not asking for a betrothal gift, house, or carriage. Tonight at the third watch, she’s planning to sneak out the back door and elope with him! The guy even plans to climb over the wall into your house first to get intimate with her, hoping to force you to accept the marriage once it’s too late to stop. And you still think you have an eye for talent… Wait?!】

【Why did Scholar Liu suddenly slap his dear son-in-law?!】

Scholar Liu forced a smile and looked at his now shell-shocked son-in-law, who was holding his face in disbelief. He said warmly, “Jiu Lang, there was a mosquito on your face just now. I was afraid you’d catch malaria, so I acted out of urgency… You don’t blame me, do you?”

—It was the Divine Physician Consort who had discovered that mosquito bites could transmit malaria.

The son-in-law hesitated for a moment, recalling how his father-in-law had always been kind to him, then considered the fact that he had been drinking a lot that night. After some thought, he slowly nodded. “Of course, I wouldn’t blame you, Father-in-law.”

“That’s good.” Liu Bingwen smiled, then suddenly—”PAH!”—gave him another resounding slap.

With a gentle voice, he asked, “Does it hurt? I just saw another mosquito.”

The son-in-law finally realized what was happening.

Somehow, he must have offended his father-in-law.

Being slapped twice in public would normally be infuriating, but after glancing at his father-in-law’s fifth-rank official robe, the son-in-law lowered his head. “It doesn’t hurt. Not at all.”

Liu Bingwen kept smiling.

Ah, right—he was in a good mood today. He planned to add some decorative pieces to the bottom of his courtyard walls when he got home. For aesthetic purposes, of course.

Hmm… how about some caltrops?

At the same time, he needed to make up for his earlier statement—pretend he had a hidden sharpness behind his smile.

So, he lowered his voice and said, “Of all the people in the world, I let my daughter marry you. I would’ve been better off marrying her to a pig!”

The son-in-law’s face turned bright red.

Liu Bingwen let out a cold laugh as he thought about the matter he had originally planned to cover up for him.

Of course, he still had to keep his voice down, making it seem as if he didn’t want others to hear. “Tell me, I trusted you, which is why I let your fellow countryman handle my household’s procurement. If he skimmed a little off the top, I could’ve turned a blind eye. But selling me a single egg for ten taels of silver—did you think I’ve never eaten an egg before?!”

【Huh?】

【Hahahahahaha! So it wasn’t about having an “eye for talent,” it was about having an “eye for pigs”! That line was pure sarcasm—no wonder he suddenly took the chance to slap his son-in-law.】

【A single egg for ten taels of silver… who even comes up with that?】

【Oh right, I need to remind Scholar Liu about his youngest daughter’s situation. Let me think of a way…】

【Hmm…】

Xu Yan Miao mentally apologized—he really couldn’t control himself from flipping two more pages of gossip about Liu’s youngest daughter.

【Wow! The man said: “Is a betrothal gift really that important? The two of us being happy together is what truly matters.”】

【The woman said: “Shilang, as long as you treat me well for a lifetime, I don’t care if you have money or a betrothal gift.”】

【Wow—】

Liu Bingwen: “…”

Forget it. Spiked planks it is.