EMHTC -Chapter 130 Even a Dog Wouldn’t Take a Tian Tong Official’s Job

There was no snowfall in February, but the grievances of the examiners were as unjust as Dou E’s (A reference to The Injustice to Dou E, a famous Chinese play about a wronged woman.).

The Crown Prince glanced at his father and then placed ten eggs in front of him.

This action greatly surprised the old emperor. “Ten eggs? Are you trying to stop me from eating anything else?”

The Crown Prince smiled faintly. “I still need a few more tombs for the wrongly accused. Father, why don’t you peel a few more eggs?”

The old emperor immediately understood. He shot his son a glance and said gruffly, “No more!”

The Crown Prince pulled his chair closer to his father, grinning mischievously. “Father, why not? I thought about it, and ten eggs might not be enough. How about ten more?”

The old emperor glared at him. If he weren’t seated, he might have kicked him. “Enough is enough.”

The Crown Prince immediately shut his mouth, no longer deliberately provoking his father. After all, he had already achieved his goal—his father was willing to spare those ten pitiful chief and deputy examiners.

However, the examiners themselves were still unaware.

In a civilian residence somewhere, He Bizuo, Vice Minister of Rites and chief examiner for one of the five rounds of the imperial examination, rubbed his frostbitten nose with resignation. “His Majesty is probably furious right now. I wonder if we’ll be able to escape this disaster.”

The deputy examiner for his round was a Hanlin Academy waiting officer. He couldn’t help but defend himself, “That person’s method was impossible to guard against. He was sitting in his own designated exam room, and even if we compared him to the registered household records, there would be no discrepancies. When the exam papers were collected, they were taken by soldiers, sent directly for anonymization—we examiners weren’t allowed to peek. Even if we wanted to be cautious, how could we guard against something like this?”

The Vice Minister of Rites glanced at him, as if looking at someone astonishingly naïve.

“You have a point,” the Vice Minister chuckled. “But His Majesty’s court is not a charity. If you can’t do the job, His Majesty will find someone who can.”

The Hanlin officer froze, still unwilling to accept this.

The Vice Minister smiled again. “If one day, war breaks out between the Da Xia and another nation, and the enemy uses a new strategy to crush our army, imagine the commander leading the battered troops back and telling His Majesty: ‘Your Majesty, I really didn’t expect the enemy to use such an unpredictable tactic. Even if I had wanted to be vigilant, I had no means to do so’—do you think His Majesty would just smile and say, ‘No worries, my dear minister, you did your best’?”

“This… I…”

The Hanlin officer pulled out a handkerchief from his sleeve and nervously wiped his sweat.

The Vice Minister of Rites continued, “We are examiners. Ensuring the fairness of the imperial examination is our duty. Failing to detect a proxy test-taker is negligence. There is absolutely no justification for excusing our failure by claiming that the cheater’s skills were simply too advanced.”

Regardless of whether they agreed or not, His Majesty certainly wouldn’t accept any excuses.

The Hanlin officer’s expression grew tense. “Then… what should we do?”

His Majesty might not have them executed, but he could very well force them into early retirement!

He was rather attached to his official hat.

Seeing the Vice Minister deep in thought, the Hanlin officer sweated even more, not daring to speak. He held his breath, waiting for the Vice Minister to come up with a solution.

“The only option now is to seek out the Crown Prince,” the Vice Minister of Rites finally said. “We must ask him to intervene and protect us. Even if His Majesty disagrees with him, at the very least, he will listen.”

The Hanlin officer steeled himself. “I’ll go to the East—”

The Vice Minister cut him off. “How would you explain your visit? If Baize finds out, it’ll look highly suspicious—like the very moment he uncovered cheating, the Hanlin officer who oversaw the exam suddenly had a ‘brilliant idea’ and rushed to the Eastern Palace to beg for the Crown Prince’s help?”

“Then…”

“We wait. Once the results are posted and we’re allowed to contact the outside world, and once Xu Yanmiao formally reports the captured cheaters to His Majesty, only then can we take action.”

However, Xu Yanmiao could take action just as the examinee was about to submit his paper.

Before that, he would periodically patrol the exam hall at irregular intervals. Sometimes he would visit the “Tian” section, other times the “Di” section, appearing as if he were moving at random.

The examinee in “Tian” No. 20 remained focused on his test from start to finish, never even glancing at him.

On the other hand, the one using a proxy test-taker reached into his cloth bag at least seven or eight times, each time pulling out and eating a slice of ginger.

【With a psychological tolerance this weak, you still dared to hire a proxy?】

Xu Yanmiao scoffed. The examiners in the Zhigong building, knowing he wasn’t around to see them, openly nodded in agreement.

After finishing, the proxy examinee did not rush to sign his name. He checked the time and patiently waited until five or six other candidates requested to submit their papers before finally raising his hand.

At that moment, Xu Yanmiao appeared before him and instructed the soldier in charge of his room, “Take him away.”

Gao He, another candidate in the “Tian” section, had submitted his paper early and was napping in his room to conserve energy for the next exam. Hearing the commotion, he silently sat up, his eyes burning with curiosity.

He even made a show of pulling out a white steamed bun, pretending to eat.

It wasn’t just him—his cousin practically had his head sticking out of his exam room. Even though the biting northwest wind cut like a knife against his face, he refused to pull back.

Xu Yanmiao scanned the room. 【Hah. So many eyes secretly watching.】

To avoid disturbing other candidates, the soldier stuffed a crumpled draft paper into the proxy examinee’s mouth while firmly gripping his arm and dragging him out. Once they reached the Zhigong building, he was released.

The examinee spat out the paper and asked in a perplexed tone, “Honorable examiners, may I ask what crime I have committed?”

Xu Yanmiao calmly picked up the answer sheet, which had already been signed, and asked, “Your name is Jiang Han?”

The proxy examinee lowered his gaze and answered with remarkable composure, “Yes.”

Xu Yanmiao said, “Fetch Jiang Han’s registration record.”

Upon registration, the Ministry of Rites recorded each candidate’s physical description in writing. For example: Male, height six feet five inches, age nineteen, black complexion.

—The record included gender, height, age, and skin tone.

If there were any distinguishing features, such as a mole on the left eyebrow, it would be noted as “Mole on left eyebrow.”

As the soldier turned to retrieve the registration records, the proxy examinee suddenly let out a frustrated sigh.

“They say, ‘If no one knows, it’s as if it never happened.’ I really thought I could keep this hidden forever… It’s been fifteen years…”

【Got him! Caught red-handed!】

Outside the Gongyuan (Imperial Examination Hall), the officials and ministers of Daxia outwardly appeared calm as they waited, but in reality, their nerves were stretched taut.

They were desperate to know why that juren (provincial examination graduate) had chosen to spend fifteen years taking exams for others rather than becoming an official himself.

Was he simply too ugly and afraid he wouldn’t pass the palace examination (dianshi)?

Or was he an arrogant genius showing off, proving that his talent was so exceptional he could pass the hui examination (metropolitan exam) every single time?

Or had he offended some high-ranking official, knowing he’d never be allowed to pass, so he decided to make money off it instead?

If it were the last case, the entire court would be thrown into turmoil once again.

“I can’t take it. I’m too curious. I have to ask him why he’s been doing this for so long.”

Here it comes!

The officials of Daxia instantly focused all their attention.

A moment later, Xu Yanmiao’s thoughts came through.

【Ah… Oh—】

The old emperor, still staring at the Gongyuan, ground his fingers against the growing mound of crushed eggshells on the table, trying to vent his unbearable curiosity—

How on earth did Xu Yanmiao make such a bizarre sound?

Crack, crack—

What had he heard?!

Crack, crack—

The crown prince glanced at the mess of shattered “burial mounds” of eggshells and couldn’t help showing an expression of secondhand embarrassment.

【No wonder he never wanted to become an official—it turns out he thinks the emperor’s salary is too low.】

“Oh! Well, that’s his loss.”

The old emperor wasn’t the least bit angry. On the contrary, he spoke in an utterly relaxed manner, intertwining his fingers into a bowl shape over his stomach. His expression was calm, even carrying a hint of pride and smugness.

“I raised the officials’ benefits two or three years ago! Although I didn’t increase their salaries, I started giving them meat! Second-rank officials get twenty sheep per month! Third-rank officials get twelve sheep per month! Fourth- and fifth-rank officials get nine sheep per month!”

“Besides meat, they also get salt, tea, paper, cloth—everything they need! If he had just become an official fifteen years ago, he might have made it to sixth or seventh rank by now! Hmph! Such short-sightedness—Crown Prince, what’s with that face?”

The crown prince silently lowered his head and continued eating his egg.

Princess Xiangyang mercilessly exposed the truth: “Father! To become an official under you, one has to endure fifteen years before finally getting a little more rice, flour, and meat…”

【Only a fool—or a dog—would take a government post under Tiantong.】

The old emperor: ?

Princess Xiangyang paused. “Wait, that wasn’t me.”

【This guy is bold. He’s given up all pretense, hasn’t he? Since he doesn’t expect to be spared anyway, he might as well speak his mind—hilarious, the Minister of War’s face just turned green. Who’s he calling a dog?】

【Wait—aren’t I also working for the old emperor?】

【Woof?】

The old emperor was furious. “What the hell are you ‘woofing’ for?!”

The crown prince nearly choked on his egg, momentarily catching a glimpse of his great-grandmother in the afterlife. With a benevolent smile, she gave him a solid slap on the back, helping him cough up the egg.

Cough, cough, cough—

A small piece of egg white rolled onto the table. The crown prince slumped over like a frostbitten eggplant, completely drained.

Then he heard Xu Yanmiao muttering to himself in his thoughts:

【I wonder how much one of these ‘three years of no business, one job feeds you for three years’ gigs actually pays. I should ask.】

【Wow!】

【Ten thousand taels per job. Guaranteed pass. If the candidate fails, they get a refund.】

【Well, that’s definitely more than a county magistrate’s salary. A county magistrate only makes ten guan a month.】

Xu Yanmiao didn’t say any of this out loud, but the substitute examinee still voiced his own thoughts.

“Once you pass the exams and become a local official, you have to endure the frustrations of serving under your superiors,” he said earnestly. “If you want to be an honest official, you have to battle wits and strength with the local gentry. If you choose corruption, you’ll constantly live in fear of losing your head. No matter what kind of official you are, you have to maintain good relationships with colleagues and superiors. Even if you stay out of trouble, you could still get caught up in political faction struggles and suffer misfortune from nowhere.”

“By comparison, I just have to take the hui examination once every three years. I earn ten thousand taels in one go—enough to live comfortably for three years, with extra savings on top of that. And I don’t have to worry about getting arrested for embezzlement.”

【…Uh, well…】

The Minister of War muttered under his breath, “Ten thousand taels… That’s more than enough to live comfortably for three years…”

“Oh, and,” the examinee added, “since I still hold the juren title, local officials wouldn’t dare oppress me too much.”

Xu Yanmiao: “…”

【Honestly. If this weren’t illegal, and if it weren’t unfair to the poor souls who actually failed the exam, this kind of job would be super tempting for a slacker. All you have to do is work hard for ten days every three years.】

【Damn it. I’m tempted.】

The Minister of War, unable to distinguish between a fleeting thought and actual intent, turned to Xu Yanmiao in horror.

—Please don’t just randomly get tempted by everything!