EMHTC -Chapter 126 Is This Bribe Just for Me, or for Other Officials as Well?

【Beep—Beep—Beep—】

【Host! Do you copy? Please respond!】

That voice?!

The old emperor caught the scent of cold snow in the wind, and an ominous premonition surged in his heart.

“Xu Yanmiao! Move! Proceed to the next step of the capping ceremony!”

Trying to use this as a distraction, the old emperor urgently grabbed Xu Yanmiao with both hands and yanked him up from his seat.

But he was already sixty-six years old. The sudden exertion, combined with the fact that Xu Yanmiao was a full-grown man weighing 160 jin (about 80 kg), caused him to lose his balance…

The old emperor: “Hiss—”

It did successfully divert Xu Yanmiao’s attention. He immediately reached out to support him.

“Your Majesty! What happened?”

The old emperor looked down and calmly said, “Nothing.”

Xu Yanmiao let out a breath of relief.

The old emperor: “My left toe cramped.”

Xu Yanmiao: “!!!”

“Imperial Physician!”

“Where is the Imperial Physician!!!”

The Imperial Physician had likely heard the old emperor’s words, so before Xu Yanmiao could even shout, he rushed over with his medical kit and began taking off the emperor’s shoe to examine his foot.

Xu Yanmiao stood to the side, his face filled with concern. At the same time, he split part of his focus to respond: 【Received. There’s no static noise this time—does that mean you’ve finally fixed yourself?】

【Not exactly. I barely managed to contact the nearest system and borrowed a bit of energy. That’s how I was able to find you again. I… zzz… zzz…】

【System? Are you okay?!】

【Zzz… I’m fine… zzz… The signal just got bad. I only used a little energy for myself. The rest can send you back. Do you want to go back?】

【Huh? Go back?】

The old emperor’s heart skipped a beat, and he sharply turned to look at Xu Yanmiao.

Lian Hang instinctively wanted to run toward Xu Yanmiao but was held back by the crown prince. Hearing the crown prince whisper, “Don’t force him,” Lian Hang turned to look at him. It was hard to tell whether the prince’s serious expression stemmed from his own feelings for Xu Yanmiao and a desire for him to stay. But when Lian Hang noticed the prince’s fingers curling up, as if cramping from tension, he fell silent.

He silently and gently nodded his head, and with that, the Crown Prince released his grip.

Lian Hang no longer moved but instead stared at Xu Yanmiao with red-rimmed eyes, his expression tense.

“Xu Lang…”

The other officials averted their gazes slightly, unwilling to witness the choice Xu Lang was about to make.

Perhaps their fates…

【I…】

They heard Xu Yanmiao’s hesitant voice and saw him seemingly glance up at His Majesty.

【If I choose not to return now, can I still leave in the future?】

“!!!”

The joy and surprise on the faces of the officials of Daxia were unmistakable.

Then, the divine artifact, the “System,” spoke:

【Of course! You can leave whenever you want—just call me! See that button on the system interface? Whenever you decide to go, just press it.】

Behind Xu Yanmiao, the Crown Prince pressed down on Lian Hang’s shoulder, using it for leverage as he tiptoed and craned his neck, trying to spot the so-called button. He looked left and right but saw nothing.

The Crown Prince murmured, “As expected.”

But… he really wanted to see what this divine artifact looked like! Especially one that could return to the Heavenly Court!

Beside him, the Grand Chancellor and the six ministers of the imperial departments were also eagerly stretching their necks, only to regretfully withdraw after failing to see anything.

“I wonder if, in the future, Xiao Baize might let us visit the Heavenly Palace, considering we’ve worked together,” someone mused.

Thinking about the grand and mysterious Heavenly Palace, Chancellor Dou’s aged eyes revealed a rare, childlike curiosity.

If he could witness such a sight even once in his lifetime, he would die without regrets.

The System’s voice continued:

【Bzzz—】

【Host, bzzz— I still have a bit of energy left. I’ll upgrade your skill, bzzz— upgrading now!】

【From now on, you won’t just see gossip! You’ll be able to predict what gossip will happen ahead of time! For example, if the system senses that a certain minister is going to hit his child tonight, it will show up in the gossip section in advance! It could be an hour ahead, two hours ahead, or even half a day! As long as you search for it, you can rush over in time and witness it firsthand! Exciting, right? Fun, right?!】

Xu Yanmiao: !!!

The officials of Daxia: !!!

Xu Yanmiao: 【Exciting!!!】

The officials of Daxia: We are NOT excited!!!

Why can this divine artifact even be upgraded?!

Maybe… Xu Yanmiao should just return to the heavens! The mortal realm is unworthy of him!

Among the gathered officials, faint sobbing could be heard.

The System came and went in a flash. Accompanied by its signature “bzzz— bzzz—” sounds, it once again went offline.

Xu Yanmiao happily admired the new feature in his system, practically wanting to hold up a candle and examine it over and over again—he was beyond satisfied!

【From now on, I’ll be able to rush to the scene and witness gossip firsthand!】

【Let me try it right now!】

The officials of Daxia: Stop right there!!!

The old emperor abruptly stood up with a whoosh and grabbed Xu Yanmiao’s wrist.

Xu Yanmiao: “Your Majesty?”

The old emperor opened his mouth, about to speak—

Then suddenly realized: Wait a minute!

The divine artifact said it could predict gossip in advance, but right now, Xu Yanmiao was in the middle of his capping ceremony. There was at least another hour before it would end. So whatever gossip Xu Yanmiao was about to see couldn’t be about him!

And even if it was, couldn’t he just take precautions in advance?

“Hiss—” The old emperor dramatically sucked in a breath and sat back down. “It’s nothing, rest for a bit longer. My toe cramped again.”

Xu Yanmiao hurriedly expressed concern for his boss, and the two put on a well-matched performance of ruler and minister caring for each other. After the old emperor was practically dying of impatience, Xu Yanmiao finally opened the system to search for gossip using the new feature.

【Oh!】 Xu Yanmiao’s eyes lit up. 【Someone is going to bribe me!】

【Finally! My time has come! Yes!!! Let me check the time!】

The entire court of officials looked at him as if they had seen a ghost.

Someone still dared to bribe Xiao Baize?! Was it some desperate imperial exam candidate?

Among the officials who had family or friends participating in the upcoming civil service exams, many stared blankly, thinking: Please don’t let it be me again…

【Hmm… Tonight, at the third quarter of Xu hour (around 9:45 PM), someone will sneak up and knock on my door…】

The old emperor narrowed his eyes.

The third quarter of Xu hour, huh?

Prime Minister Dou cracked his aging joints.

Looks like I won’t be going to bed early tonight.

Princess Wanshou glanced at her younger sister, who was grinning from ear to ear and rubbing her hands together in excitement at the prospect of witnessing the drama. Closing her eyes in despair, she thought:

There’s no stopping her! Absolutely no way! …Well, fine. Count me in.

Chapter 255 Is This Bribe Just for Me, or for Other Officials as Well?

Following the remaining steps of the capping ceremony in an orderly manner, night soon fell.

Within the span of a day, the emperor and a select group of ministers quickly came up with their own reasons and devised well-planned, logical excuses to ensure that it would make perfect sense for them to be near Xu Yanmiao’s residence tonight.

—Those who couldn’t come up with a reason to be there could only stay home, anxiously waiting for the next day to see if any rumors had spread.

The snow was pure white, and their faces were red from the cold. One, two, three, four heads peeked out from the rooftops and courtyard walls surrounding Xu Yanmiao’s house.

The old emperor sat inside Marquis Yongchang’s house, warming himself by the brazier. Beside him, a red clay stove was heating wine.

He glanced out the window at the heads popping up, his expression filled with the disdain of an eagle watching a bunch of chicks. “Does Xu Yanmiao strike you as someone who can keep a secret? Do you really need to climb up walls just to see?”

Marquis Yongchang let out an awkward chuckle.

The old emperor belatedly realized something. “Where is the crown prince?”

Marquis Yongchang pointed, and when the emperor looked closely—standing atop a precarious stack of wooden boards, leaning over the wall, stomping his feet from the cold while breathing into his hands—was none other than the crown prince himself.

Beside him, his two gentle and graceful daughters were also standing on tiptoe. The fifth princess, not very skilled at climbing, had dirt and dust on her face and dress.

The old emperor: “……”

If word got out, who would believe that these were the crown prince and princesses?

With a twitch of his mouth, he turned away and looked around the room. His gaze landed on a cabinet where a set of “Collected Annotations on Ji Wenzheng’s Poetry” was displayed. The collection consisted of sixty exquisitely carved wooden plaques.

Bending down, the emperor picked up one of the wooden books and examined it carefully. Next to him, Marquis Yongchang seemed to shrink into his robe, as if suddenly feeling cold.

“Is this an original carving? Not a reprint from the early Zhou dynasty?” The emperor, having spent years as a ruler, had long developed an expert eye. “Must have taken quite some effort and cost a hefty sum.”

Marquis Yongchang nodded somewhat uneasily. “It did.”

The emperor’s gaze deepened. “I seem to recall that you don’t even like poetry?”

Marquis Yongchang hesitated. “Well, as one ages, tastes change.”

The emperor chuckled. “Oh? That’s strange—I heard that Xing Chong has great admiration for Ji Wenzheng.”

—Xing Chong was the courtesy name of He Bi, the Vice Minister of Rites.

Marquis Yongchang’s eyes darted away.

The emperor saw through him immediately. “You wanted to gift it to him?”

Marquis Yongchang corrected him. “I originally meant to give it to Miss Xiaocha.”

But after finding out that “Miss Xiaocha” was actually a man, he had been unable to bring himself to gift it. Yet, he also couldn’t bring himself to throw it away. His reasoning? “It was too expensive to waste!”

The emperor: “Oh, really?”

Marquis Yongchang: “Yes!”

Winter nights were long, and the days were short. Wine was brewing, tea was simmering. As steam lifted the lid ever so slightly, time trickled by. The streets quieted, save for the occasional bark of a dog and the muffled crunch of footsteps on snow.

【Wuhu! They’re here!】

A group of grand, high-ranking officials—dressed in lavish clothing but shivering from the cold—immediately perked up their ears.

A figure wearing a bamboo hat peeked out from the corner of the wall, scanning the street left and right. After confirming no one was around, he quickly stepped into the open. Snow had turned his boots white, and he clutched an ornate box in his arms as he hurried toward Xu Yanmiao’s door.

Knock, knock, knock—

As the knocking echoed through the silent street, the man failed to notice the many sharp, gleaming eyes locked onto him from the darkness—just like a team of black-cloaked police officers waiting in ambush for a criminal.

Xu Yanmiao excitedly opened the door. “How can I help you?!”

The would-be briber staggered backward in shock, nearly slipping on the snow.

Xu Yanmiao didn’t invite the man inside—after all, he had no real intention of accepting a bribe. Letting the man in would only make things harder to explain.

Instead, he immediately grabbed the man’s arm to steady him and impatiently asked again, “So, what is it?”

The would-be briber was momentarily stunned, suddenly doubting whether he should have brought gifts to this young upstart—even if he was the emperor’s favored minister.

Why is he acting so eager?! Like he’s never taken a bribe before!

But… since he was already here…

Suppressing his concerns, the man noticed Xu Yanmiao didn’t seem to want him inside. So, he raised the ornate box in his hands. “Master Xu, I am the magistrate of Shangyuan County. I have served in this position for seven years. After the new year, I will be reassigned, and I hope to enter the Hanlin Academy. I would be most grateful if you could… lend me a hand.”

Xu Yanmiao gave him a curious look. “What are you offering?”

The magistrate of Shangyuan County: This… this… isn’t this a little too straightforward?!

But then—delight!

He wasn’t afraid of Xu Yanmiao being greedy; he was afraid Xu Yanmiao wouldn’t be!

With a mysterious smile, he said, “Master Xu will know at a glance.” Then, he opened the box.

Xu Yanmiao peeked inside. “A painting?”

The magistrate’s mysterious smile deepened. “An artwork of eight beauties—peerlessly elegant, breathtakingly gorgeous, and still… untouched.”

Xu Yanmiao, bewildered: 【Why is he describing the women in the painting as ‘untouched’? That’s such a weird way to put it.】

Meanwhile, the old emperor—who had climbed the wall to eavesdrop—flew into a rage.

Xu Yanmiao might not understand, but he certainly did! The magistrate was clearly implying he would gift eight stunningly beautiful women to Xu Yanmiao!

Eight!!!

Was he trying to drain Xu Yanmiao dry or what?!

Scoundrel!

At once, the emperor found the magistrate utterly detestable. With barely restrained fury, he growled, “Shangyuan County isn’t particularly wealthy, yet its magistrate is fat? He must have extorted plenty from the people!”

The crown prince: “……”

He hesitantly whispered, “Father… isn’t that a bit of a hasty conclusion?”

The emperor huffed indignantly. “What’s hasty about it?! He is fat!”

The crown prince: “……”

That… doesn’t mean his weight came from exploiting the people…

Meanwhile, on the other side…

Xu Yanmiao: 【…】

Xu Yanmiao: 【A painting of beauties? You might as well have brought me a pound of cured meat instead.】

The old emperor’s fury instantly melted into joy. He whispered to the crown prince, “See? Baize is truly a divine beast—his mind is unwavering!”

The crown prince: “……”

He had already been silent too many times today.

Xu Yanmiao didn’t notice the many people crouched atop the nearby walls—mainly because this was the first time someone had tried to bribe him, and he was too excited. Even though he planned to report the person afterward, that didn’t stop him from enjoying the moment.

In his excitement, he casually asked, “Is this bribe just for me, or have you given gifts to other officials as well?”

The magistrate of Shangyuan County cautiously whispered, afraid of being overheard, “Well… the gifts I’ve given to others are, of course, different from what I’ve prepared for you, Master Xu.”

He was careful not to say who else he had bribed.

But Xu Yanmiao had a system.

【???】

【You bribed the entire Ministry of Personnel? Including the clerks?!】

The crown prince, unable to bear it, covered his eyes.

The officials of the Ministry of Personnel immediately felt a chill of unease.

Some of them had accepted money, some had not—but they all knew their own department too well. Just because they hadn’t taken this particular bribe didn’t mean they were innocent of other misdeeds!

Heaven help us! Please, Master Xu, don’t expose anything else!

The old emperor sneered coldly.

It seems it’s time to have the Jinyiwei investigate the entire Ministry of Personnel.

Xu Yanmiao didn’t immediately expose the other officials. Instead, he politely refused the magistrate’s bribe and shut the door without hesitation.

But deep down, he felt a little wronged. 【What! Am I not worthy of an exclusive bribe?!】

The crown prince felt a twinge of sympathy.

【Damn it! I want to see who accepted his bribe.】

The crown prince: Forget it… I’d better sympathize with the officials in the Ministry of Personnel instead.

It was snowing, and it was really cold.

The officials of the Ministry of Personnel felt as if their hearts had frozen over. As they looked at Xu Yanmiao’s tightly shut door, it was as if they could see a giant loudspeaker rising from behind it, broadcasting to the world—

【Oh ho! The Right Assistant Minister of the Ministry of Personnel accepted thirty estates in exchange for promising to transfer the magistrate of Shangyuan County into the Hanlin Academy.】

The Right Assistant Minister took two sharp breaths of icy air and shivered.

【Oh—oh ho!!!】

【This happened a few days ago! The Right Assistant Minister did take money to arrange the transfer! But at the last moment, he actually forgot the magistrate’s name! How does that even happen?!】

【I’m dying! So, he just arranged for every county magistrate who had served seven years and had the surname ‘Sun’ to enter the Hanlin Academy? He must have vaguely remembered it contained ‘Sun’…】

【But.】

Xu Yanmiao was nearly laughing himself to death in bed.

【The magistrate’s name was Zuo Sun!】

【Right Assistant Minister of the Ministry of Personnel, you helped the wrong person!】

The crown prince: “Pfft—”

The old emperor shot him a death glare.

The crown prince: …Sorry, I really couldn’t hold it in.