EMHTC -Chapter 100 Using a Cat to Command a Scholar!

The old emperor coughed lightly, drawing Xu Yanmiao’s attention. “Minister Xu…”

Xu Yanmiao straightened up immediately. “Yes, Your Majesty!”

His enthusiasm was visibly higher than before.

The old emperor, speaking in a measured tone, asked, “Do you know how to make cat food?”

Xu Yanmiao replied honestly, “I don’t.”

The emperor pressed on. “Then…”

Before the emperor could finish, Xu Yanmiao instinctively continued, “But I have a cook at home. Perhaps he knows how.”

The emperor raised an eyebrow. “And if he doesn’t?”

Xu Yanmiao hesitated, then reluctantly said, “Then I’ll learn myself…”

The old emperor chuckled knowingly. “Do you know there are shops in the capital that sell cat food?”

Xu Yanmiao’s eyes lit up with interest.

The emperor continued, “Compared to dried fish or pork liver, it’s best to feed cats raw meat. A cat needs about half a pound of raw meat a day—that’s 45 qian. Over a month, that adds up to over 1,300 qian. You—”

The emperor’s gaze swept over Xu Yanmiao from head to toe before giving an ambiguous smile. “Now that you’re an official, you can afford to raise a cat.”

Xu Yanmiao silently hugged the gold-devouring creature in his arms tighter.

The emperor suddenly sighed, “But after all, animals aren’t like humans. You can command a person to eat on time, but you can’t force a cat. If you bring home raw meat and it doesn’t want to eat, you’ll have to put in extra effort. Nowadays, families in the capital who raise cats prepare clay pots. They place charcoal inside and then the cat’s food, which keeps it fresh.”

Xu Yanmiao’s knowledge from school wasn’t entirely forgotten, and he vaguely recalled that charcoal worked by absorbing moisture.

The emperor added, “So, you’ll need to budget for buying charcoal too.”

Xu Yanmiao hugged the little kitten tighter, trembling slightly.

The emperor continued mercilessly, “It’s still small now, but it will grow up eventually. When that happens, the cost of neutering a cat… hmm…”

Xu Yanmiao had already started frantically calculating his salary in his mind.

—Though the emperor’s rewards and the princess’s gifts were still sitting unused at his house, he couldn’t just sit back and eat through his savings!

The emperor, as if determined to twist the knife, added, “As an official, if you have business to attend to in other regions, you can’t take the cat with you. You’ll have to hire someone to come to your house and feed it. That’s another expense…”

“And what about buying a little blanket for it?”

【Are you buying catnip?】

“You don’t know how to paint either, but have you thought about hiring someone to capture your cat’s daily antics in a painting for your enjoyment?”

Each sentence felt like a heavy boulder of life’s burdens crashing down on Xu Yanmiao, squashing the little figure in his heart.

The old emperor smiled kindly. “Minister Xu, I have a task for you—help with the history compilation. Do you happen to have some free time?”

【I knew it! When someone shows unsolicited kindness, they’re either up to no good or scheming!】

【Using a cat to control a scholar—classic!】

Xu Yanmiao choked back his grievances and replied, “I’ll take it!”

The fluffy white lion-cat licked its paw, mewing softly, then rubbed its head against its new owner’s hand, savoring the affection.

After temporarily entrusting the clingy kitten to a eunuch, Xu Yanmiao asked for directions several times and finally arrived outside Wenhua Hall.

“History compilation… this should be the place.”

Inside, over 300 historians bustled about—some scribbling furiously, their brushes flying across the paper; others rummaging through bookshelves, sleeves stained with ink without a care. One person held a sheet of still-wet paper, a delighted grin plastered on his face. Another, with dark circles under his eyes from sleepless nights, frowned as he searched the wall of books for something.

As Xu Yanmiao entered, his shadow fell across one historian, who was jotting down something with a pained expression. Sensing someone nearby, the historian spoke abruptly without looking up, “Could you grab the Records of Chu: Geographical Annals for me? It’s in the Ding cabinet, third shelf from the bottom, twelfth book from the left.”

Xu Yanmiao responded, “Sure.”

“?!”

The historian snapped his head around so quickly he nearly sprained his neck. “Xu Yanmiao? What are you doing here all of a sudden?”

Though startled, his voice wasn’t loud.

Xu Yanmiao explained calmly, “His Majesty sent me to work on the History of Zhou.”

“Thud—” The historian staggered, bumping into the desk. His arm hit the brush holder, sending it clattering to the floor, scattering brushes everywhere.

The commotion drew attention. “What happened—wait, Xu Yanmiao?!”

This exclamation was louder than the historian’s, and it caused several people in the hall to audibly gasp.

A beam of light filtered through the window, casting across Xu Yanmiao’s face, highlighting his puzzled expression.

The historian who had knocked over the brush holder looked unusually excited. “People always say you’re incredibly handsome. I’ve always wondered just how handsome, but seeing you in person today—wow!”

Xu Yanmiao froze for a moment, then blushed slightly. “Thank you for the compliment.”

The historian, who had only said that as a makeshift excuse, paused awkwardly. His experience in compiling histories kicked in, and he subconsciously thought: If I ever write a biography for Minister Xu, I must use the words ‘peerlessly elegant and striking.’

Meanwhile, the head of the compilation effort, Supervisor Song Qi, noticed the commotion and sternly emerged from the back. However, upon seeing Xu Yanmiao, he nearly broke into a smile.

Ah, so this was what caused the fuss—it was the renowned “Xiao Baize.”

When one’s heart is clear, there’s no fear of shadows. What’s there to panic about? Even if Xiao Baize couldn’t find any faults, directing his attention to the imperial family could be a blessing in disguise, preventing greater calamities.

Under the admiring gazes of the other historians, Song Qi calmly approached Xu Yanmiao and asked, “Minister Xu, are you here to fetch a book? Or to find someone?”

Xu Yanmiao cheerfully said, “His Majesty sent me to compile the History of Zhou.”

Thud!

This time, it wasn’t a brush holder that fell—it was the chief historian himself, collapsing to the ground with a loud bang as his head hit the floor.

Xu Yanmiao: “!!!”

What just happened?!

Xu Yanmiao panicked. “Get the imperial physician! Quick, call the physician! Don’t move him!”

While waiting for the physician to arrive, Xu Yanmiao curiously asked the other historians, “Who is that?”

Why did he faint as soon as he heard I was here to compile history?

The historian he asked gave an awkward smile. “That’s the chief historian overseeing the compilation. He’s from the Song clan of Guangping.”

Noticing Xu Yanmiao’s persistent confusion, the historian explained further, “The Song clan of Guangping is a prominent family from Dunhuang.”

Xu Yanmiao was now tasked with compiling history. And not just any history—he was to work on the history of the previous dynasty.

The most dramatic reactions came from the hundred-year-old noble families.

—Ever since the barbarians invaded the Central Plains and decimated the old aristocratic clans, no millennium-old families had survived since the Zhou dynasty.

These noble families, with members serving as officials in the current court, wept and wailed in protest. They were utterly opposed to Xu Yanmiao’s involvement in the compilation, some even close to declaring to the emperor: “If you let him work on this history, I’ll hang myself at the palace gates!”

One notable family was the Zhu clan of Yiwu. During the previous dynasty, they had produced three grand Prime Ministers and numerous other officials, maintaining their prominence for thirteen generations. In the new dynasty, the Zhu family still had seven members serving as court officials, all having passed the imperial examination.

Two of them were regulars at the Hall of Martial Brilliance.

One such member, Zhu Tingxun, the 74-year-old Chief Academic Officer of the Hanlin Academy, with his beard now fully white, knelt in the Hall of Martial Brilliance and wailed, “Your Majesty! I’m in the twilight of my years and wish only to live out my days in peace. I have no desire to know whether my ancestors had remarkable tales or romantic escapades, nor do I wish to discover which scandalous rumors about them are true!”

The old emperor remained impassive. “Minister Zhu, you must understand—true gold fears no fire.”

Zhu Tingxun gave him a long, meaningful look. “But even true gold wouldn’t know that rolling around in a dung pit—hurting no one—could suddenly become the talk of the entire city.”

He sighed in defeat and continued, “Besides, Your Majesty, you call this compiling history, but… aren’t you really just looking for gossip?”

The emperor coughed lightly, showing no guilt. “Minister Zhu, you overthink matters.”

Before this issue could be resolved, another minister arrived.

It was Chang Zai, a renowned scholar from the Chang clan of Jiangyuan and the Deputy Censor-in-Chief. He carried a stack of paintings and had deliberately donned simpler clothing.

The emperor raised an eyebrow. “…What is the meaning of this, Minister Chang?”

Tears streamed down Chang Zai’s face as he explained, “Your Majesty, I am honored by your favor in allowing me to paint murals for the court, the previous dynasty’s palaces, and the inner palace. I have also been entrusted with decorating screens in the royal halls. Now, feeling that my days are numbered, I have selected the works I am most proud of to present to you.”

The emperor, confused, asked, “Your health has always been robust. Why would you think…”

Chang Zai wiped his tears and gave the emperor a resentful look. “Your Majesty, even the healthiest person is still human. My face cannot harden into a city wall. I imagine it won’t be long before I die of shame and humiliation.”

The emperor: “…Ah, well, Minister Chang, perhaps things won’t turn out as badly as you fear. Who knows, maybe your ancestors will turn out to have some hidden achievements.”

Chang Zai countered, “Your Majesty, do you think hidden achievements are more likely… or peculiar hobbies?”

In this dynasty alone, not a single official could withstand a deep investigation!

It wasn’t that absurd events were rare in the past, but usually, such things wouldn’t randomly come to light. Everyone worked hard to keep their skeletons firmly locked in the closet.

Who could’ve predicted that Xu Yanmiao would appear?!

The old emperor, with a straight face and not a trace of shame, said, “Minister, your family is known for its noble traditions. Surely, their achievements outshine any flaws.”

The Deputy Censor-in-Chief: “…”

The third, fourth, and fifth officials from prominent families all blocked the emperor in the Hall of Martial Brilliance. They didn’t argue much—they simply cried. They wept as hard as they could, occasionally mixing in a plea or two:

“Your Majesty, a rough approximation of history will do!”

“Your Majesty! I cannot support such a disgraceful decision that betrays our ancestors!”

Meanwhile, other officials, upon hearing the news, fainted on the spot in their offices.

Their colleagues carried them to soft couches, wiped the sweat from their own foreheads, and muttered in relief:

“Thank goodness… thank goodness.”

Thank goodness we’re commoners—descendants of poor farmers who followed His Majesty to establish this dynasty. Our ancestors didn’t even exist in the records of the previous dynasty.

It wasn’t their place to say, but… this thing the emperor was doing—it was truly lacking in virtue. No wonder the ministers were up in arms!

At the Wenhua Hall.

Xu Yanmiao, still a bit confused, asked, “What’s the matter with the Song clan of Guangping?”

The historian, unable to reveal the truth, glanced at his unconscious superior on the ground and silently apologized before saying, “Dunhuang is famous for its murals, many of which record history. Growing up surrounded by such an environment, Chief Historian Song developed a deep obsession with creating a universally praised historical record. We’ve been working on this history for ten years now. Your sudden arrival probably made him think His Majesty wanted to replace him, and he couldn’t handle the blow.”

Xu Yanmiao instantly understood.

【So this is what they call the most taboo thing in office politics—a direct appointment!】

On the ground, the chief historian’s fingers twitched slightly. It seemed he’d heard the historian’s remark even in his fainted state and desperately wanted to get up and punch him.

“But don’t worry, Xu Lang,” the historian added quickly. “The rest of us are thrilled to have a new colleague. You wouldn’t believe how tedious compiling history can be—the more hands, the better.”

The historian’s attitude became even friendlier. After all, his ancestors were three generations of impoverished farmers. Xu Yanmiao’s presence wouldn’t harm him and might even grant him access to firsthand materials.

“Come on, have a seat!”

Help us fill in the gaps! And maybe enjoy the drama too!

Another historian immediately brought over a stack of drafts. “Xu Lang! Let’s start with the Histories of Generals and Ministers!”