AYLS – Chapter 117

Su Weizhen hadn’t eaten anything good for a long time either. Seizing this opportunity, she took two old ducks out of her space. Lin Qiao then sent Gu Huayuan to go buy some pork. Li Yan didn’t come empty-handed—she brought some fruit wine.

Li Ermie didn’t need to contribute any meat this time; she simply brought out some of her homemade pickled vegetables and sun-dried green beans to eat with the hotpot.

Everyone happily enjoyed a hearty hotpot meal.

Especially Gu Huayuan and the other men, who also took the chance to have a little drink.

Instructor Chen, feeling emotional, brought up Zhang Tuo again, saying he felt sorry toward that comrade. He hadn’t even invited him over to eat today. He figured Zhang Tuo must still hold a grudge.

Just thinking about it made him feel guilty.

Gu Huayuan said, “Talking about it won’t help. You need to make it up to him.”

Instructor Chen felt troubled. “I want to, but I haven’t had the chance. I ran into him yesterday, and he didn’t even glance at me—just walked away.”

Gu Huayuan said, “Zhang Tuo is probably in the dorm eating steamed cornbread again. With how bad the cafeteria food is, he hasn’t had an extra meal in ages.”

“Then why doesn’t he come over? Seriously, if he’d just show up, I’d apologize to him face-to-face.” Instructor Chen sighed.

Sitting beside him, Xu Yuanzheng couldn’t take it anymore and kicked him under the table. “Why don’t you just have someone send food over?”

Instructor Chen: “…Right, let me—”

He looked around, saw his own Ermie’s pregnant belly, and said, “I’ll take it myself later.”

Xu Yuanzheng really wanted to kick him again. “Are you stupid? Isn’t his wife here?”

Instructor Chen: “…” He really was being stupid.

On the kang table, Li Yan and the others were also eating amidst the bustle. Since everyone was in the same room, the women could hear the men’s conversation.

When Li Yan heard that Zhang Tuo hadn’t been eating well, she felt a wave of guilt.

Because of her, he couldn’t go home, nor could he improve his meals.

Before this, he had barely ever suffered like this back in the capital.

Back then, Li Yan had basically grown up drinking dew, without the faintest idea of cherishing others. Whatever she ate or drank was always prepared for her; she had nothing to worry about and could live every day in a dream.

But after spending so much time with everyone now, she had become grounded and learned how to live. Only then did she truly understand that life isn’t a dream or poetry.

Only after suffering does one understand that everyone has their own hardships—and learn to care for others. At least she still had a home to stay in, but what about Zhang Tuo?

Lin Qiao said, “If it’s inconvenient for you, I can deliver it.”

Su Weizhen said, “What’s it got to do with you? Eat your duck leg.”

Li Ermie perked up. “If she doesn’t eat it, I will!”

Lin Qiao immediately stuffed the leg into her mouth and took a big bite. Delicious! Ah, if she ever went back someday, she knew she would still miss Su Weizhen’s cooking.

Maybe because she was thinking too much about delivering food to Zhang Tuo, Li Yan didn’t eat much herself. She had a small appetite to begin with, and after a few bites she said she was done.

Instructor Chen immediately told Li Ermie to pack up some food to send to Comrade Zhang Tuo.

Even if Zhang Tuo treated him like an enemy, he still needed to show sincerity. After all, the mess had been caused by his side. The fact that Zhang Tuo wasn’t making trouble about it was already very rare.

Li Ermie didn’t skimp—she packed a whole tin of duck meat and glass noodles.

It was glossy with oil and looked absolutely delicious.

The aluminum lunchbox went into a mesh bag, and Li Yan lifted it and headed out.

Seeing her leave, Lin Qiao and Su Weizhen exchanged mischievous looks.

Li Ermie happily took over Li Yan’s seat. “That woman is really silly. Runs off to a man and doesn’t even eat the meat. If it were me, I’d eat my fill first. Giving a man bones would be fine.”

Instructor Chen, listening beside them, felt his face heat up. He tried to maintain his dignity. “She’s just saying that. She’s usually very considerate of me.”

Xu Yuanzheng said, “I get it. What wife doesn’t look after her man? My wife always makes me something good.”

Gu Huayuan added, “My Qiao also likes giving me food. When she eats eggs, she always saves the nutritious yolk for me.”

Instructor Chen forced a dry laugh. “Yes, yes, all the same.”

…

Carrying the lunchbox, Li Yan walked with a fair amount of nervousness. But she was the straightforward type.

Before, she had been single-mindedly devoted to yearning for love. Now, she was single-mindedly determined to make each day meaningful.

First of all, she had to solve the issue of how this family should get along. When Xiao Qiao asked her whether she wanted this home, she realized that of course she still did. At the very least, she didn’t want to divorce Zhang Tuo.

She couldn’t imagine forming a family with another person in the future anyway.

It was only after thinking through many things that she slowly came to understand: maybe there wasn’t that kind of passionate love, but Zhang Tuo had indeed already slowly integrated himself into her life. This kind of feeling could no longer be measured by the word “love.”

The reason Li Yan decided to take the initiative this time was also because she felt Xiao Qiao was right. At least for those earlier years, she had always been the one holding the initiative in her hands.

Even though she didn’t have that confidence now, this long-delayed step forward still needed to be tried.

Li Yan didn’t go into the military dormitory area. It was all men inside, so she simply greeted the sentry at the gate and asked him to help inform Zhang Tuo.

Zhang Tuo was lying on his bed scratching his head in anxiety, confused about the direction of his marriage. He cursed himself for being useless — he clearly knew the situation, yet he just couldn’t let it go.

When someone came to notify him, he thought he had misheard.

When he got up, he still remembered to smooth his hair and put on his hat before heading out.

When he saw her, worried about losing face, he deliberately put on a serious expression.

Li Yan pressed her lips together, mustered her courage, and said, “You didn’t go for dinner today, so I brought you something. It’s old duck soup with vermicelli. It tastes really good.”

Zhang Tuo instinctively took it, mumbling, “…You really didn’t need to worry about me. It doesn’t matter whether I eat or not. Sorry you had to make this trip.” His tone sounded very distant.

“…” Li Yan was silent for a moment, then asked, “Zhang Tuo, I actually came today because I wanted to ask you — are we really going to keep living like this?”

“What?”

“I mean… continuing to stay apart, avoiding each other — are we just going to keep going like this? Is this the marriage you want?”

“…” Zhang Tuo froze for a second, then reacted, feeling that she was turning the blame back onto him. “Isn’t this what you wanted? Aren’t you the one who doesn’t like me, who doesn’t want to see me?”

Li Yan said, “Before, I was indeed confused. But now, my thoughts have changed. I don’t know what you think, or whether you’re still willing to return to our family.”

Zhang Tuo’s heart thumped wildly.

It felt like he was dreaming — something so far beyond anything he could have imagined, something he wouldn’t even dare dream of.

He hadn’t even had time to respond when he heard Li Yan continue, “I’ve figured it out. Marriage doesn’t necessarily need love. I’ll put in the effort to manage this home. I don’t know whether you’re willing to accept this kind of marriage.”

“……”

A bucket of cold water was dumped right over his head.

Zhang Tuo’s expression chilled.

Seeing his reaction, Li Yan understood everything. “I was overthinking. I understand now. In the future… if you want to find someone else, just let me know. I’ll cooperate with any arrangement.”

After saying that, she turned around and left, her eyes stinging.

She really wanted to find Xiao Qiao and pour her heart out. To tell her that she had lost her home — and she couldn’t get it back.

“Hey— hey! Wait!” Zhang Tuo shouted, inwardly cursing himself to the heavens. Spineless, weak-willed, pathetic — he wanted to scold himself with every insult he knew. But he still shouted, “Aren’t you asking me to come home? I’ll go pack my things. Wait for me!”

“Huh?”

“My clothes are still in there. I’ll grab the important stuff. I’ll move the rest tomorrow.”

Then he ran back toward the dormitory.

Watching his hurried figure, Li Yan couldn’t help curling her lips into a smile. Living with someone who loved you was actually easier — and happier.

When they got home, Li Yan sat down with Zhang Tuo and had a proper talk.

She unpacked her thoughts, wanting to tell him… she didn’t love him, but not because she was still hung up on someone else.

That was all in the past. She had already let go of that old relationship long ago.

Hearing this, Zhang Tuo was excited. He was about to say that since she had let go, they could give things a new start.

Then Li Yan said, “Ever since I started raising chickens, I realized life has more meaningful things. Zhang Tuo, we used to be too fixated on emotions. That’s not good. I hope you can live more easily, just like I am now. We should invest more feelings and effort into things that matter. Only then can we live fulfilling days.”

Zhang Tuo: “……” So before, he lost to another man. Now, he was losing to a flock of chickens?

Li Yan looked at him earnestly. “Zhang Tuo, do you agree with me? I believe that in this world, only ideals should not be betrayed.”

Holding back with great effort, Zhang Tuo smiled. “Yeah. Sounds good.”

…

The next morning, before Gu Huayuan had even crawled out of bed, Zhang Tuo was already shouting outside, telling him to get up for morning exercises.

Gu Huayuan hugged his soft little wife tightly, extremely annoyed by the noise.

Lin Qiao also found it loud and shoved him to go deal with it.

She had overeaten last night and hadn’t slept well. She and Gu Huayuan had stayed up talking about life and dreams until she had dark circles under her eyes. She hadn’t slept enough at all before being woken up.

Gu Huayuan didn’t want his wife to stay awake because of the noise, so he quickly got dressed, muttering, “It’s not even dawn yet. He’s crazy.”

As soon as he went out, he punched Zhang Tuo.

Zhang Tuo said, “Why are you hitting me?”

“Nonsense, who wakes people up like this?”

“I’m living back here now. We’re close by, so I came to ask you to go for morning exercises.”

He mainly wanted to show off — he had moved back home. And Li Yan had been the one to ask him.

But Gu Huayuan didn’t care at all, completely dismissive. He ruffled his hair and walked out.

“Come on, aren’t we going for morning exercises? Let’s go train.”

Zhang Tuo hurried after him. “Hey — aren’t you gonna ask me? I’m living back home again.”

Gu Huayuan scoffed. “So what? In the end you’re still spending those long nights alone, and waking up at the crack of dawn because you can’t sleep. If you’d really taken advantage, would you have been able to get out of bed this morning?”

Zhang Tuo: “…That’s because we only made up yesterday. We need time to adjust.”

“Whatever. Just don’t come looking for me next time. You woke my wife up. She’s got a temper when she’s roused early—if she sleeps badly, she ends up sniffling under the covers.”

Zhang Tuo pouted, sulking, though deep down he really envied the kind of relationship they had.

He told Gu Huayuan about what happened yesterday, then asked, “Old Gu, do you think a marriage has to have love? I thought about it for a long time last night. I keep feeling a bit unwilling. It’s one thing to lose to someone who came before me… but how is it that now I’m even losing to a chicken that came after?”

“No idea. Never experienced that.”

“…Are you even my brother?”

Gu Huayuan said, “Actually, you could try looking at it another way. Now that your love rival’s become a chicken, if it ever upsets you, you can just eat it.”

“…”

“And honestly, marriage doesn’t have to be some earth-shattering, life-or-death kind of love. Having ideals is good, too.”

Zhang Tuo sighed gloomily. “Easy for you to say. If it were you, would you still be this calm?”

“I would. Even if I really encountered it, I’d probably think the same.” Gu Huayuan was very confident in his marriage. This confidence came from how clingy Comrade Xiao Qiao was with him.

Zhang Tuo didn’t know what was going on in Gu Huayuan’s mind, but he was indeed comforted.

He really shouldn’t be too greedy. At the very least, Li Yan was now willing to face their home properly.

And Li Yan had indeed shown that her feelings toward this family were no longer the same.

The next day at mealtime, she even discussed with Zhang Tuo about hosting guests at their place. They’d been here so long, always eating other people’s food, yet had never invited anyone back.

Zhang Tuo said he didn’t know how to cook.

Li Yan replied, “It’s fine. We can buy some prepared dishes from the county, and I can cook the rest together with Xiao Qiao and the others. They’re all very nice.”

Seeing Li Yan like this, Zhang Tuo actually felt a little unaccustomed.

She had changed so, so much—changes he hadn’t even noticed happening.

“Li Yan.”

“Hm?” Now Li Yan made sure to respond to every single thing he said.

“This is pretty great.” Zhang Tuo smiled, feeling quite content. He had confidence that their family would only get better and better.