AUBTN -Chapter 109 Confirming Feelings

He had always thought that the two of them were mysterious outsiders, people from beyond the world, but he never expected that they, too, were two forlorn souls adrift in the mortal world.

A quiet sympathy, born of shared suffering, began to spread among the four of them.

At this moment, all notions of supervisors, commanders, schemes, and calculations were cast aside.

They were simply four lonely souls huddling together for warmth in the cold winter.

One wine jar after another was emptied.

Yu Qing was completely drunk.

She pushed back her chair, stumbled over to Lu Yan, and with no sense of order, cupped his stern face in her hands and kneaded it roughly, twisting the face of the fearsome man who could calm a crying child into something unrecognizable.

“Lu Yan… you big fool…”

Lu Yan’s body stiffened, but he let her do as she pleased, his dark eyes heavy as they locked onto her.

“Can you… hic! Can you stop pushing yourself so hard?”

Yu Qing slurred her words, tears streaming down her face. “I know you want to be a good minister… but look at all the injuries on you! The old ones haven’t healed and now there are new ones. Are you made of iron?”

“Stop arguing with that stubborn old father of yours… and stop always keeping that stern face, you look so good when you smile…”

Her voice grew more distressed, finally breaking into sobs as her fingers clutched at Lu Yan’s chest: “If you die… if you die, who will argue with me? Who will clean up all the mess? Wuuuu…”

Seeing the woman in front of him, crying with tear-streaked face and no composure, the softest part of his heart collapsed completely.

The next moment, he stretched out his long arms and pulled Yu Qing into his embrace, lowering his head to fiercely cover her incessant chatter with his mouth.

This was not a gentle kiss.

It carried possession and dominance, along with Lu Yan’s long-suppressed feelings that he had never dared to voice.

Yu Qing’s eyes widened instantly, all her words blocked back in her throat.

She froze for a moment, then, as if finding an outlet, wrapped her arms around Lu Yan’s neck, awkwardly but passionately responding.

Like dry wood catching fire—igniting at a touch.

Meanwhile, Su Hewan, who was about to help Shen Jue back to his room to rest, stopped in her tracks at the corridor, startled by the sudden scene.

Through the half-open carved window, the figures inside were entwined in the candlelight, so intense that it made her face flush and heart race.

“Cough…” Su Hewan awkwardly looked away, her face burning.

“Uh… don’t look, don’t look.”

【Oh my! Girl, seriously? This is moving so fast! And Lu Yan, usually he seems like a restrained, disciplined officer, and yet… so wild when it comes to this?】

While her mind was frantically commenting, she tried to retreat while holding Shen Jue’s arm. “Shen Jue, since they’re… um, let’s go back to our room first. Don’t disturb them.”

She turned to leave, but Shen Jue didn’t move an inch.

“Shen Jue?”

Su Hewan looked up in confusion and met a pair of deep, fathomless eyes.

Shen Jue leaned against the vermilion corridor post, his collar undone at two buttons, revealing a stretch of pale collarbone. He seemed drunk as well.

The usual sharp, sinister aura was gone, replaced by a vulnerability that made the heart ache.

He grabbed Su Hewan’s wrist with the other hand, pulling her closer until their breaths mingled.

“Wanwan.”

It was the first time he called her that, his voice low and hoarse, like a hook catching her heart.

Shen Jue lowered his gaze, withdrawing it from the entwined couple in the window and fixing it firmly on Su Hewan, emotions swirling darkly and confusingly in his eyes.

“And you?”

Su Hewan’s heart skipped a beat. “W-what?”

Shen Jue stepped closer, pinning her between himself and the post, his faint scent of coldness mixed with alcohol enveloping her completely.

“If I were to die…” His long fingers gently stroked her cheek, cool at the tips yet carrying a trembling warmth.

“What would you do? Would you cry for me?”

Su Hewan froze.

【If Shen Jue died…】

Images from the historical records flashed through her mind—the great eunuch’s end: executed by slow slicing, left exposed for three days, with no one to bury him.

In that instant, a flood of panic and heartache surged through her, almost drowning her.

【No, I will never let you meet that fate!】

Shen Jue heard the voice from the depths of her heart; the feelings seemed even deeper than he had imagined.

So, even in this boundless darkness, there really was someone willing to defy fate for him.

“You don’t need to answer.”

Shen Jue chuckled softly, a faint, seductive redness creeping into the corner of his eyes.

“I understand.”

Before Su Hewan could react, he suddenly leaned down, and with a near-reverent decisiveness, kissed her lips.

Shen Jue’s kiss was infinitely gentle, yet carried a suffocating intensity of intimacy.

He traced the shape of her lips with careful tenderness, and in the next moment, forcefully pried open her teeth, claiming ground like a conquering army.

All the unspoken feelings, every bit of unease and desire, melted into this lingering kiss.

Lanterns swayed in the corridor below, and snowflakes fell silently.

That night, the wind and snow at Yuyuan felt unusually gentle.

The next morning.

Su Hewan opened her eyes, staring at the unfamiliar canopy above her head. A thunderclap of memory surged through her mind—the events of last night returned in full tide.

Drinking… making vows… giving red envelopes… and then… kissing?!

She bolted upright, realizing she was in Shen Jue’s bedroom!

Although her clothes were intact, the obvious impression on the pillow beside her clearly marked that another person had been there last night.

“Oh no, oh no! Su Hewan, you’re a scholar! How could you let beauty cloud your judgment? How am I supposed to face him after this?”

“Is this… workplace harassment? Or an unspoken rule?”

As she frantically ruffled her hair, the door creaked open.

Shen Jue carried a basin of hot water into the room, his expression… surprisingly calm.

Only his normally pale earlobes now carried a suspicious flush.

“Awake?” He set down the basin, his voice taut with awkwardness.

“Wash up, then come out for the sobering soup.”

Without waiting for her reply, he turned and left.

Su Hewan: “……”

【Could it be… he’s shy? The contrast was too adorable!】

By the time she reluctantly made it to the main hall, the scene had become even more dramatic.

At the round table sat four people, eight eyes all staring at one another.

The awkwardness was practically spilling out the door.

Yu Qing buried her face in the table, wishing she could disappear into the bowl; her exposed neck glowed as red as a boiled shrimp.

Lu Yan sat upright, holding a steamed bun, but hadn’t taken a single bite.

His gaze wandered nervously—one moment on the beams, the next on the floor—daring not to meet Yu Qing’s eyes.

“Um…”

“Ahem!”

Yu Qing and Lu Yan spoke at the same time—and then immediately fell silent.

Su Hewan braced herself and sat down, feeling as if pins were pricking her backside.

Shen Jue appeared the most composed, if you ignored the fact that he had put sugar in the porridge as if it were salt.

“Last night…” Yu Qing finally couldn’t hold back. She lifted her head sharply; though her face was flushed to a painful red, her eyes were unusually resolute.

“I remember everything from last night! Lord Lu, if you’ll take responsibility, just say so. If not, I…”

“Responsible!”

Lu Yan almost instinctively answered, his voice so loud that the maid bringing breakfast nearly dropped her bowl in fright.

After speaking, Lu Yan seemed to realize he had overreacted; a hint of embarrassment flashed across his face. But then he drew a deep breath and looked at Yu Qing with blazing intensity.

“Since I’ve acted, I will not deny it. Once the situation stabilizes…”

“Stop, stop, stop!” Yu Qing hurriedly waved him off.

“No need for such a big production; a secret romance is safer! As long as you know what’s in your heart, that’s enough.”

Lu Yan frowned, seemingly dissatisfied with the term “secret romance,” but eventually nodded.

That thin paper barrier finally shattered with the word “responsible.”

Watching the two, Su Hewan couldn’t help but bite her lip to suppress a smile. Just as she was about to tease them, a warm hand suddenly slid under the table and lightly held hers.

Her body stiffened; she turned slightly to look.

Shen Jue sipped slowly from his overly sweet porridge, his gaze steady, as if nothing had happened.

But the hand, entwined tightly with hers, betrayed the turmoil within him.

Su Hewan’s heart skipped. She returned the gesture, gently holding his hand back.

【Alright, since it’s come to this… let it be natural. At least in this chaotic world, we’re no longer alone.】

A faint smile curved Shen Jue’s lips, and a softness never seen before flickered in his eyes.

Outside the window, the first snow of the new year had finally stopped.

Sunlight poured over the pristine snow, refracting dazzling brilliance.

No matter whether the road ahead led through fire and blade, or into bottomless depths, for this moment, they had each other.